


You Dirty Bartender Killer

by cosmicstring



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2015-11-14
Packaged: 2018-05-01 14:50:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5209958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicstring/pseuds/cosmicstring
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frisk hadn't known how to hide a body before today.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Dirty Bartender Killer

**Author's Note:**

> this shitpost was heavily inspired by a comic i saw awhile back if anyone knows it post it in the comments so i can add it here

Frisk hadn't known how to hide a body before today.

Them and Sans had gone to Grillby's to get something to eat. Well, Frisk was getting something to eat. Everyone knew Sans just drank the ketchup. Today, the resturant was empty except for them.

The two sat down at the bar, Frisk thankfully avoiding the whoope cushion this time. 

"whatdaya want, kiddo?" Sans asked. "the usual?" Frisk nodded.

"alright then. grillby, we'll take a double order of burg" Grillby nodded, walking into the kitchen.

Sans suddenly had a more michevious expression. His expression never seemed to change, but Frisk swore his grin got wider somehow. "hey kid, wanna help me with something?"

Frisk gave him a look that told him he had to explain himself. "well... did you notice this big bag i got? its full of unpopped popcorn. when grillby gets back, we'll throw it over his head so it'll pop. what do you say? you in?"

Frisk nodded exicitedly. They both stifled their laughter and tried to act normal as Grillby came back with their food, setting it out infront of them. He barely had time to react when Sans put the bag of unpopped popcorn over his head.

Instead of the sound of popcorn popping, however, all they got was sizzling. The bag had worked like a fire blanket, putting out Grillby's entire head. He fell to the ground, presumably dead. Sans and Frisk stared unmoving in pure horror for what felt like hours, until Sans finally looked behind the counter to confirm their fear. Instead of Grillby, there was just a pile of dust.

"kid... he's..." Sans attempted to say. "...we have to hide the body."

Frisks eyes were still wide with terror, but they nodded anyways. instead of looking horrified like he was before, Sans immedientally switched into action mode. "go get an empty bottle" he commanded.

Frisk went behind the counter, avoiding the dust like it was a deadly disease. They found an empty alcohol bottle, bringing it to Sans. Sans opened it, scooped the dust inside, and closed it. He didnt seem scared at all, acting like they werent scooping the dead remains of someone they just accidentally murdered into a bottle that once contained an alcoholic beverage. Frisk, however, was the complete opposite.

"papyrus?" Sans said. Frisk hadnt even noticed he got out his phone. "get the shovel from our toolshed and leave it outside grillby's. do not ask any questions or tell anyone about this, understand?"

"SANS, IT IS SO LIKE YOU TO BE SO LAZY YOU CANT GET THE SHOVEL YOURSELF!" Frisk could hear his voice clearly through the phone. They werent surprised. "BUT IT IS SO UNLIKE YOU TO EAT SO MUCH FOOD YOU NEED TO EAT IT WITH A SHOVEL INSTEAD OF A FORK. HOWEVER YOU ASKED ME NOT TO QUESTION IT SO I WILL NOT. I AM BRINGING THE SHOVEL NOW."

"thanks bro." Sans said, hanging up the phone. "okay kid, listen to me, we need to hide this bottle somewhere it will never be found. if someone finds out about this we will be in big trouble."

"S-Sans I'm scared..." Frisk said quietly.

"i know but we need to do this. kid, think, where should we hide this?"

"I... I... I dont know... I..."

"i think i do"

Sans shoved the bottle into his coat pocket, both of them exiting grillbys. Sans took the shovel that was left there by papyrus. "okay kid, we have to take the river person's boat. do not, and i repeat, do not tell them anything about this. am i clear?"

Frisk nodded, teary eyed. 

The ride to waterfall was silent, not even the River Person was singing. Maybe, somehow, they already knew what had happened and what they were about to do.

The two ventured across Waterfall, avoiding eye contact with every creature they came across. Some people talked to Sans, and somehow, Sans was able to respond like he didn't have a bottle of dust in his coat pocket. Soon, they came to their destination. The room with the mouse hole, save point, and crystalized cheese.

"frisk, are you having Fun?" Sans asked.

"No!" frisk replied sharply.

"no no, kid, not fun, Fun. there's a difference."

Frisk didnt respond.

"ugh, i shouldve known, nobody knows about it but me. kid, listen, i have to do something. i dont know if it will even work, but its our only shot at not getting our little... situation found out about."

"S-Sans you're not making any sense!"

"i know kid, but, just trust me, okay? just this once."

Frisk nodded reluctantly.

"okay, take my hand for a momment"

Frisk grabbed Sans' hand and they both walked towards the right, but instead of the room with Sans' telescope, they appeared in an empty hallway with nothing but a strange grey door in the middle of the wall. Frisk let go of Sans' hand.

"we will bury the bottle here, and kid, whatever you do, dont go in that door. got it?"

"Sans... I..."

"what?"

"No!" Frisk shouted. Frisk never shouted. This was bad. "First you kill someone infront of me, then you tell me to lie to everyone, now you take me to some weird appearing hallway! You... you..."

Frisk began to cry. Sans reached out his hand to try to comfort them, but they flinched back. They ran towards the door.

"kid no!"

Frisk didnt listen. They entered the door, the door disapearing behind them. Sans dropped the bottle, and banged on the spot on the wall where the door was. "kiddo, please! can you hear me?! i don't want to loose another one! please come back...!" He stopped hitting the wall, and just sat down, his back facing it. "please don't screw up like i did..."

Frisk found themself in a grey room. It was empty, except for a strange man standing in the center. He vaugly resembled a skeleton with a cracked skull. Everything below his head was a strange black mass.

"H-hello?" Frisk called. the man didnt respond. Frisk stepped forward, shaking. "C-c-can you hear me?"

The man stared at them with vacant eyes. Or rather, through them. Frisk extended a shaky hand towards him, admittedly not the best idea, but Frisk didn't know what to do. As soon as they made contact, the man's facial expression changed. His eyes widened almost in shock, then he disapeared. 

"kid! kid! are you okay?"

"W-what..."

Frisk awoke, in the room with the cheese, to sans staring down at them. "H-huh?"

"kid i... i'm sorry."

"No I am... I should've listened to you..."

"no... i'm the reason grillby's dead. i should've known that would... ugh..."

Tears welled up in sans' eyes. Frisk sat up, patting him on the back. "Hey Sans?"

"hm?"

"Wanna go to Grillby's?"

"sure, kid."

**Author's Note:**

> i can feel my sins crawling on my back


End file.
